Greetings Bloggers/Bloggettes 🙂 I just want to say first that April/Spring is Most def here because This pollen is Uber Horrible! So of course I just popped a benadryl so If in about half way through this blog I start making Not a lick of sense.. Just know that I’m drugged beyond repair, and ….. well yea thats it, I’m just drugged, so bear with me… Anywhos, So I just got done watching Ugly betty on HULU.com (hmm thats free advertising, I think I should be getting paid for that) But Chea, Ugly Betty has become one of my favorite Tv shows, besides the Game, George Lopez,The Golden Girls (yes I’m an old soul), and of course GLEE!:)… So as I was watching Ugly Betty, I somewhat started to envy the characters on the show, as if they were actual real lives portrayed on the tube. It was a wedding scene and this lovely song started to play, and the bride and groom went out first to dance. All eyes were fixated on them and then everyone else joined in, even the lil gay boy and his new found boytoy..( I was a lil jealous of that) Well, it just seemed like everyone was friggin Happyyy.. Like nothing in the world mattered to them, with that one moment of being in the arms of their mate. Slow dancing to the sounds of love..*sighs* But is that really realistic? Are my standards of how love and life is suppose to be way too high? Am I just suppose to just settle for mediocre? Is “Love” really for me? I would tend to think so, or else I wouldn’t feel like complete POO when I see others making goo goo eyes at each other and saying sweet nothings to each other. I think somewhere inside of myself, theres a place that wants good things that come with love,but when one’s soul has been torn down, and ripped to pieces so much, even with the tape and glue that’s holding the pieces together, that “good love” thats trying to get in finds itself slowly seeping out of the cracks, leaving you feeling hopeless. I say there HAS to be away out of this awful cycle… Even now, being married, one would think that your spouse would be the last person to ever want to treat your heart unkind, but, sad to say, a marriage does not immune one from hurt and pain. It hurts even worse, because in your heart you feel that that one person at least should be the one of all ONES. The one thats going to do everything in his/her heart to make your life complete… Isnt that how its suppose to be?? Maybe I AM living in a fairytale…lol.. yea right, I wish. *pops that bubble*…. In the end, everything starts with me.. I keep hearing that stoooopid phrase so it must hold some truth.. So, Ive been praying solely for myself( Its not as selfish as it sounds).. I’ve been praying that God changes me so that I can learn to accept things just as they are and still be happy… It felt so good today just to smile and laugh.. ALL day, without negativity interrupting.. I pray that everyday, a little piece of the old, vibrant me, with a lotta bit of heaven enters my soul, so that one day my life will be like that of a beautiful Dance, flowing ever so gracefully to a never ending melody.. Live, Laugh, and Love!
HMMM 